my husband doesn't care about me islam

I’m not even married but IN SHA ALLAH I’ll marry the girl I love & the girl for whom I’m praying. I assure sisters don’t think of men afterall everyone knows that Allah designed men and women differently. He says that he doesn’t want them cause they dont have respect for themselves. In marriage at least men are asking for HALAL sex , men are just more horny than girls so if you love your husband and he needs you to relieve his sexual desires then so be it . Also does he have any good friends/brothers who can be a good influence and help to guide him so that he realises what he is doing is wrong. Every part of his life was documented. We shouldn’t fall in love anyone . Thanks anyway. Found inside – Page 185The Americans and Australians said they would only consider me for resettlement if my file was referred by the UN. ... My husband told me that according to Islam, what happened to me means that I am no longer his lawful wife. In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted and polyandry is completely prohibited. But he sends all love messages to his 2 nd wife. These women truly are the best among us, because it is such a hard and difficult thing to do. I am a revert alhomdolillah and married to an incredible Muslim man. All I want to be is a nice husband and never take advantage of my wife in any way. To put him back on track, just reduce your level of love to the minimum level which is your duty, and he will do everything to get you and that extra love and care back… I don’t mean sex only, by “Love”. Men are using their own ways of thinking to have more than one wife but there will always be one wife he will like more or give something more to. Ameen. Hearing that hurts, even though I don’t totally believe him. Share. Please don’t misguide people.. if u don’t actually know the answer. Doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong or that you’re being a bad husband, it’s just the way the world works. It’s 2:19 in the morning and my husband begins his fast for Ramadan in half an hour. I typed this up on my phone. Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical Even if every man got married to one woman, there would still be more than thirty million more females in USA who would not be able to get husbands (considering that America has twenty five million gays). We don’t tell our wives “I love you” often enough. It is the right of a wife. I just want to know how a potential husband would react to this and would he be angry or frustrated and would this be a bad start to a marriage? If you are fortunate enough to find a man who is of good character and is religiously committed, then you have been blessed with something good. to be frank I think many muslim men prefer to have mistresses rather than remarry…a man who agrees to remarry and to take the responsibility of another woman in my opinion is very courageous…..personally I will prefer my husband have a second wife rather than having many short affairs,,,,, many sisters are not even aware that their husbands are cheating on them….. nice article….ma sha Allah…described very beutifully in concise way..wud recommend every1 even to watch sk.yasir qadhi lectures somewhere on youtube “like a garment” course…just alhamdulillah awesome.beautifully explained..both for men and women,,,,:). Get out of this kind of toxic relationship, only if you think he cant change. Sharing my husband with another woman. Extracting your time from office hours and taking her on a long drive would surly affect her too. If a husband does not pay it, it remains a debt upon him and must be paid on From the subcontinent :p repression central and B. It was a good article and the author wrote it with good intention. Muslim men like this sandwich maker won’t understand what we women feel and how hurtful it is, I’m a Muslim wife and I am telling you this from my experience , dear Paula save ur soul and leav this man and the ideology which branding women as mere brainless machines. And of course if a woman is not able, then it’s only logical she doesn’t have to have intercourse, just think common sense, not everything has to be explained in detail for you. His answer he said, will be dependent on her acceptance of Polygamy. Although I did very much appreciate zuhrA’s story. the same punishment will happen to him. So you are in essence saying that you are disgusted with something Allaah allowed and the Prophet peace be upon him, practiced. A sister in need. I pray Allaah helps you and others in situations like yours. GOD has not created women emotionless The hadith (Abu Dawood – 2050) only indicates that we are to have some children, but doesn’t specify the number. It goes so far in Islam that if a woman wishes to perform an optional fasting (not the ones in Ramadan) she NEEDS to have her husbands permission! Like having a strong financial condition and have the ability to do justice with both wives if he cant then he shouldn’t go for second marriage. Polygamy is a big responsibility. Yh im a girl and right now i wish i could punch u in your face!!!! That my way is a little cliche, and sterotypical but none the less, he still loves me. Is this wrong of me to want a deeper connection and attraction? Stand up to abuse! Dear Mehwish, Of course you don’t want to let go of the marriage without a fight right? There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. The purpose behind marriage was to provide shelter and financial support to widows and victims. It’s important to still show your love. No sister, there’s no proof of any such against the man. Wow here’s what women expect men to be like. Why would you sollicit such a behavior from somebody? Treat her like a servant. Please forgive me for the delay. This entails having respect and loyalty for one another, along with the feelings of passion and love to one another. 1. Found inside – Page 12“ We know more about Islam . ... One girl tells of an acquaintance whose parents wouldn't let her accept a scholarship to a prestigious university because ... My husband is from Saudi Arabia and he doesn't follow Islam that closely . Get out of here and get what you deserve in life! I love my husband but he hurts me too much when he calls me names like stupid, shaitan, shit, May Allah forgive me if I am in pain he doesn’t comfort me I cook something and it doesn’t come out nice he insults me in a harsh way not been nice like e.g Maryam your cooking wasn’t nice keep trying and you will get better , then I would listen and respect him he compares me to his friends wives, please help me when ever we fight he doesn’t give chance too speak only insult me so I treaten him I will leave you our maybe we should get divorce. i really like this article. Thank you!!! You should always be in a smiling mood, and if you're upset then go to your parent's  and do not share your emotions with me. To the person who wrote this artical.. (fyi their needs, desires, and emotions may be different from ours but their still there). Found inside – Page 236It is clear to me that polygamy is not a normal state in Islam. The Prophet does not approve of polygamy.” “But it's allowed.” Aynur spoke for the first time in her own voice. “Definitely allowed.” Fatma said seriously, “I have thought ... I believe you know the wisdom behind this command of Allah swt. Your email address will not be published. You said a man is not allowed to marry a 2nd without the first PERMISSION. My marriage is in trouble, I feel like a tool to my husband, not a human being, an employee, a subordinate dealing with a tyrant boss, my dignity is being affected and I feel it is never going to change because he doesn’t care to put on the work, or to honour God, my husband has even told me I am replaceable, hence why I think he think I am a tool. “not want to” and he still goes ahead with it? The only two options remaining for her are that she either marries a man who already has a wife or becomes public property. The stress of your husband’s untreated struggles can take a serious toll on your marriage. if a husband truly loves his wife then he will never leave her. i wasnt muslim and i read Quran and a lot of things about that. I am not Muslim, however I respect/support his beliefs and the teachings/love of Allah. actully they shouldnt. single. I'm educated. Divorce in Islam can take a variety of forms, some initiated by the husband and some initiated by the wife. Based on this piece, the man just wants a subservient slave who will try to please his dirty need, even his lust for other women, without expecting any reciprocation. The theory and practice of divorce in the Islamic world have varied according to time and place. Fourth, never EVER speak about what happened between you to anyone else. If you still want to know more then as a sheikh. Surely a Muslim husband would be accommodating and respectful of his wife in full If someone is born gay, why would Allah judge them? I mourned him for a long, long time. He assured over a three year period he was single…no kids nothing. Allah is watching and the almighty will give you strength and courage. JazakAllahukhayran for your comment it was a point well made. Found insideAlways be the other women, I was once a Nurse in one of the respected hospital in Dubai, where I meet my husband And we got married without the blessing of my parents because they never really like the idea of me converting into Islam, ... In a religion banning intoxication, this is one of very few ways to feel drunk or high. Thanks Lloyd for taking care of my moms will and explaining everything to us. If you don’t then don’t expect much from him. Islam is supportive of the use of contraception for family planning purposes. We were both widowed. It will still hard for us before we get used to the Idea! If you think your husband is brave, noble, handsome, strong, TELL HIM. Leila is an ethnic Russian who converted to Islam in the early 2000s when she was just 19 years old. I have no idea how all this happened but it happened and believe me it wasnt easy for me. First the car then the shop, then the house. For example even your own children 2,3,4 tell me can you give them all the same attention love money this that even if you really wanted to it’s impossible. Is the husband is being gentle when he has sex? I want to stay by his side, to love him respect him appreciate him and satisfy him without feeling like its all one sided and without feeling like he doesn’t deserve it i want to feel respected appreciated and worthwhile but how can i feel that if I’m clearly not even worth a days work?? I'm financially independent, but uspport him in some expenditures. he wants to marry me but he said what if there was a 2nd one? 4. This is the Islamic view though. Impotence is not the same thing as infertility. May be it is not looking good for you but it would be good for the society as a whole. Allah knows best , there is a reason for this , you just need trust Allah . Moreover, because I feel that I’ve always prioritised him, it makes me feel I’ve worked more than hard for him and I deserve to get him as my achievement. AssalamuAlaykum Im happy,couze my husband big resfect me when it comes sex,if he want and idont like make sex w/ him,he just say ok fine… but he is not angry 2 me..thans 4 the nice topics n advice…Allah huakbar.. hmmm you’re happy; but is he really happy? But there is Qur’anic verse. becareful what you say Islam does not revolve round you but your revolve round islam what ALLAH SWT made permisable who are yo to make it haaram. After that he was scared and he thought was going to lose me so he begged me to stay with him, and he would try to become a better human being. My in-laws’ verbal abuse led me to say “no more!”, I’m so ashamed of having relations with this man, My mother-in-law and brother-in-law are harassing me. If you are already educated ,then go to your parents house, get their support. Is he repeating some move he saw in a movie? So my long question is, is what I am doing wrong and how can I control my desires so as to please Allah. Sometimes he prays and if he did he doesn't go to the mosque. Be careful sisters. The quran says that a man must treat his wives equally, you can easily argue that if the original wife doesnt want her husband to marry again then that is him being unfair to his first wife as compared to the potential second wife. He still comes around daily. I wrote a long email, and in the end of the letter i told him that i want to leave him. iii) If he is not satisfied with his first wife in serious matters. despite all this my husband chats to women and deep down i have strong reason to suspect he has been with other women. Sister when you said i will never accept this part of islam you could have come out the fold of islam!! We do not like our father to have another wife, women also hate their husbands to marry again but that’s because it is no longer part of today’s lifestyle in many societies but if people get used to it as for example if every one have more than a wife then it will not be a big deal I think. He keeps telling me he doesn’t love or care for me like he should. we commited mistakes..i am asking allah to forgive everything…is wat he doing is right in islam?? However, I’m not sure about this vaccine. You dont understand it fully and you really should not say such things because you are actually saying that you ar disgusted with Allah! You have a child. I will not give it to you. I will practice , When I get Maried.. Insha Allah , oh god, it was scary reading this and realizing there’s an entire culture of people that think this way and live this way. If both the partners realize that & aim to make their marriage successful with love, respect & loyalty they wouldn’t need to throw back and forth the Hadiths and Quranic verses just to be one up on the other. This is a true signs your husband doesn't care about you anymore because anyone who does this have a cold heart. My husband’s parents moved in to live with us and they were supporting us financially. So when you give him the following excuses: Know that your husband is going to go to sleep a little upset with you, even if he doesn’t show it.And do this often enough, he’s going to start resenting you. May Allah bless us with good husbands. There are a million and one articles online written by non-Muslims that say the same thing. Mock or make fun of her. My husband and I adopted a beautiful little girl from India after 2 years of paperwork, education, social worker visits, fundraisers, agency fees, and countless prayers... Natalie Welch. my husband Mustapha and I his wife Maureen appreciate the verses from the Holy Quron but frankly the rest of what you say is either useless or wrong. dont expect him to remain content. Welcome, dear … Children can sense when something is wrong, especially with their parents. I am a devout Muslim but multiple marriages disgust me. I look back way more than I should. I offer my prayers, and don't hurt anybody. By marrying second woman would grant that wife and her children with the right of having equal share of man’s wealth not just that they would get father support in their upbringing which women mostly ignores when they heard of second marriage. He should know his responsibilities as a husband and a man. I pray to Allah Ta’aalaa that he gives us all the understanding of how a true Muslim should behave and that he forgives us all for all the wrong we have done in life, allowing us to die with strong Imaan and in the end enter us into Jannatul Firdaus. “Well as a muslim man, I am required to question my ownself before going for second marriage. This matter of “refusing sex” is not poured in cement. And none of his wives ever complained about anything. i met my husband 11 years ago and all through my marriage has been very bad and secrets and lies and he do haram to his body ..and the first month and before was good all was done halal but from problem s he did i lost all respect especially when i found out he had second wife i excepted it and became friend s to her because allah say,even it killed me inside i did this only for my children to still have father and i did as wife should do but the teaching he showed me i never believed from allah as allah is fair to both some people use islam for there own need s to cover there mistakes anything i did was wrong and man is like child most of time i was drained and anything i did good was wrong his haram was always halal to him no matter wat i said now its only me my children and i hope allah punish all man that put good wifes and children through this to suit there haram ways. Remember Allah only help those who help themselves. subhan ALLAH. Did your family find out details on him before marrying you? However, in many Muslim cultures, men are raised to be stoic and tight-lipped. Even walking towards the woman he likes to just stare and have eye contact with her. One fills in what the other lacks. when we started talking, I made it very clear to him my thoughts of getting involved with a married man. World female population is more than male population In the USA, women outnumber men by 7.8 million. If you see its opposite, cruelty, Then know that is not Islam. I have conferted to muslim 15 years now Anna Pasternak's husband has three daughters from his first marriage I did ask him, dies your wife respect you?” “Is she loyal to you?” “you have 2 kids so sex must not be an issue, so why did you cheat?” He gives me blatant excuse such as wanting to do something different. I belong to a very respectable family with a strong background. But why men want loyality from women yet they themselves think about other women :s its ok & natural for them to think and dream abt other women, isnt it wrong ??? He doesn’t bother sharing about his day because he shows the Signs of A Bored Husband in Marriage. You say your too tired to please your husband, its your responsibility to do so to protect him from any further sin that may come. Hi,I came across this when googling about Islamic views on male fantasies.I have been married for the last 8 years and realised my husband not only think about other women (which you seem to agree that most men do,well most straight men at least) but what is recommended that I do should I realise that not only does my husband think about other women,he thinks about having sex with them as well.I find it truly disturbing and upsetting not to mention disrespectful but he seemed to be forcing me to accept this is what it really is.I am truly lost.Please advise. Wife must keep her husband attracted to her, and must maintain this attraction, and must support her husband, so that his burdens are lessened, and the natural pull on men towards other women is reduced/balanced. Good advice, but zowji doesn’t like sandwhiches! Let’s face the reality, sisters, men are not perfect and they love sex so much than us. Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.Chapter 103, Verse 3 I repented, not once in my life did I think my action worthy of repentance because I had done nothing wrong. that I have to be pleased emotionally and sexually and if not, there are other men just like for them other women. When I thought that life would last forever and that nothing will ever change. If a woman refuses to have sex with husband and he understands why she is refusing to then she is not sinning. Broadly, Islam has five categories of Do’s and Dont’s. It is been so hard on me. Not spending time and money for me. But he just does not respect me. the loves comes from ALLAH. If you do not let your husband have sex with you without a ‘valid’ reason, then your husband will just have to be patient, while you will be cursed by the angels at the same time. This is the silliest thing I’ve read in awhile. How can he ever cheat on me with the dami man. Polygamy was a social welfare for them. In the same chapter i.e. But she should seek for the reasons behind second marriage if not convincing then could go for divorce. They are in denial. Dont use any abusive word to express your feelings. Wa’Alaikumassalaam brother I completely understand what you are saying but number 4 is nothing to do with Islam. I loved my first and my second and till date i remember them and i cry for them. But you can’t force him. I am also 33 alhamdulillah. towards his mother ...then he will do same.....towards his wife....and depends also...from which side of Islam is...Sunnah...Shia...I read..once..some books...where was saying something like..".the wife needs to obey the husband...taking care of his parents...and being his houshold...never go out ...never go school...is haram...And all things like this...with other words...the wife..needs to be slave in his house....and that the only right she have is his right over her. We are all human and built that way. A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. As per my perception this article is for people who understands it or try to, leaving arrogance behind far away. so only it was said in Quran to marry more than one. In Islam, men are taught from a young age that they are supposed to be the bread-winners and caretakers of their families. but people should understand each other. All that guy did was take money from my friend, travel abroad to visit his wives, and then dump her when she found out about all his wives. I think the author has done a nice job. I appreciate your responses! Answer (1 of 13): Take your kids and leave home for somedays, do not talk to him for that period. And the wrongdoers will get their due punishment as well. It is up to the couple. Wait a while and upgrade ur education first. It depends on wife to dress well and apply perfume and take care of his special foods to raise his desire. no one can add or reduce quran, Polygyny is permitted in Judaism. Found inside – Page 113She said: I have to spend all my money for family expenditures. After spending all my money, I cannot buy anything for myself. My husband does not care about that. I don't have any savings. If he has problems with capital in his ... 2. What are rhis women supposed to do? It really bothers me. Found insideMy husband always listened to me and it was always me who was watching TV. I didn't know what to answer to my colleague ... How come he always asks me if I can take care of his baby while he spends special moments with his wife alone? it’s haram to do that. No woman wil b happy readin it n am openly sayin out my opinion coz there aint no hadith or ayat backin d point dat ur husband thinks abt other women. As I said before its much more of a burden than a privilege. Why do you think men like buying women gifts? I started praying Istikhara that night. Found insideI told you even if you don't divorce me, women have rights to divorce even when the husband doesn't say talaq. You say she found you and knew she could have a good life with you. She doesn't care about being all together Islamically ... Hindus are more polygamous than Muslims The report of the ‘Committee of The Status of Woman in Islam’, published in 1975 mentions on page numbers 66,67 that the percentage of polygamous marriages between the year 1951 -1961 was 5.06 among the Hindus and only 4.31 among the Muslims. His age 31. Search it yourself. A wife's heart can be wounded when your husband doesn't want to have sex with you. Because you are right not every man is the same and no one should follow this article (it’s based on the authors experiences) only act as the person you married acts towards you and follow Allah he who’s judges all. Not only is a man obliged by law to give his bride-to-be this dowry, but the Quran also states he must do so graciously, without expressing any … I have been divorced two times. When I flirt with other women don't switch your mood off, keep your mood swings aside. Thankyou. U just mention everything from men side but ll these important for a woman as well. It just means that all (straight) men do, at some point in their lives, consider having another woman (i.e. I think the writer of this article is a bit misinformed. I doubt it. He was a good person, good akhlaq and very pious. Although it doesn’t alleviate all of the pain and conflict, it helps couples to know that around 20 percent of marriages fall within this category. IF you believe in Islam and Allah you will have to believe that if a woman refuses to have intercourse with her husband, then she is sinning. But it is not rare that along the road the prospect of happily ever after starts disappear by showing the signs your husband doesn't care about you anymore. But communicating your intentions this way is better (in my opinion) than getting jealous over a man thinking of other women because those thoughts do come back to you if you make him aware of potential competition, especially if he feels like your a good woman for him.

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